When you suffer from a broken heart it feels like your world is coming to an end. The pain can be unbearable. It is hard to sleep, eat or concentrate. You wonder if you will be able to feel good or happy ever again.
It can be especially devastating when a relationship you really care about ends unexpectedly. You can’t help remembering all love you shared and your dream of happily ever after, sharing a life together. It is devastating to think that someone you loved was able to leave it all behind so easily while you are left wondering what happened. How could he/she just walk away like that?
This can really take toll, especially if the one you love ended up with someone else. It is hard not to wonder if you lost your chance for love. You may worry that you won’t find someone else you loved that much again.
And you want to find love, but you are not sure you can open yourself up to that kind of hurt ever again!
The good news is, you can and will heal from this broken heart. And as a result of this healing, you will find a love BETTER than you could imagine in your wildest dreams.
Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears,
for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth,
overlying our hard hearts.
~Charles Dickens, Great Expectations, 1860
Shelly fell in love with a married man. She did not mean for it to happen. He was smart, successful interesting, and totally sexy. They had a great time together and he wined and dined her. She was not looking for anything serious so why not?
Well before she knew it months turned into years. And by this time she had become attached. Finally she was able to let go of the relationship, but she felt she had wasted valuable years of her life.
Holly was in a relationship with a man for 5 years. They were engaged to be married but he was reluctant to set a date. Every time she would bring it up he would make an excuse about money, or that it was a bad time in his life right now etc. He would say, lets discuss it next year.
One day Holly came home to find him gone. He had met another woman, she was pregnant and they were getting married right away. She felt she could never recover from that kind of betrayal.
So how do you recover from this kind of heartbreak?
How do you trust again?
Almost everyone has suffered crushing heartbreak at least one time in their life. Some people are able to recover and move on to find love while others get stuck in their pain and see unable to move past it.
Here are the 5 ways to let go of heartbreak.
1. Mourn Your Loss Completely.
Allow yourself to cry, feel sad and experience your loss. Most people who are stuck in heart ache deny their feelings of loss and sadness and never properly grieve.
2. Be Nice to Yourself.
Comfort yourself during this time of loss. You have been through a difficult time and need loving care. Thinking negative and demeaning thoughts about yourself will only add to your hurt and pain.
3. Take Inventory.
After you have done your grieving take a good hard look at the relationship. Assess what things in the relationship worked and what did not work for you.
4. Forgiveness. Write a list of all the things you feel your ex did to you and all the things you angry at him about. Then write down any things you may be angry at yourself about. Burn the paper with the intention to let go of past resentments so you can move on.
5. Write Your True Love.
Write a love letter to your true love. Picture yourself happy loved and fulfilled in the relationship. Imagine yourself giving it to him. Keep the letter by your beside and remind yourself that true love is coming.
If you find yourself stuck in any of these steps unable to grieve, forgive or recover, seek the assistance of a dating coach or therapist.
Healing from heartbreak will help you open your heart so you can love again!
Heartbreak can be tough, but you can and will recover to find love again!
And next time it will be TRUE LOVE, which lasts forever!
Much Love and Happy Dating!
by Pamela Vandervoort